I know that sounds terrible!! Sunday should be a wonderful day. Sunday is the Lords Day, well everyday is His day, but we set aside one special day every week just for Him. You know I can remember in my growing up years several Sundays wishing and hoping my parents would say "We are not going to church today, we are going to sleep in have brunch and family time." That never happened by the way but I am sure there were times that I wanted to and so did my parents. I am sure of another thing too on those days had we done just that we probably would have missed out on a blessing and aloud satan to rob of us our JOY. Yesterday was one such day. Now I got up ready to get to church. I am enjoying it more and more. It has taken me a few months to feel comfortable here but it is starting to feel like home. I was actually excited about gettting to church. Chris and I have decided to join a sunday school class and they are going through The Truth Project. So we have a hours drive to church so getting ready can be tricky especially with the kids in tow. But we did pretty well only about 10 min behind schedule. But it snowed the night before, 3 1/2 inches mind you, so the roads weren't the best so that made travel a little slower. Well then about half way there we decide to prepare the kids for the fact that they are going to be going to their own classes today and all chaos breaks out. It starts with flat out "NO!!!!!" Then "WHY DO WE HAVE TO?" Proceeded by "I DON'T WANT TO GO TODAY!!!", "WHY DO WE HAVE TO GO TO CHURCH ANYWAY?', "CLASS IS BORING?'.... on and on and on...Now I realize I am new at this whole thing with parenting and stuff but I will admit my blood started to boil just a bit. So I started praying... "Lord please help my children right now, soften their hearts, give us the right words to speak to them, and PLEASE HELP ME FOR I AM GOING TO SAY SOMETHING OUT OF ANGER!!" I am not sure what I was most upset about?... Now I am not wanting to force them into anything. I dont think that is right either. But they simply were not even willing to try. We pulled into the parking lot. Chris said that we were going to sit in the car a moment because the tention was thick and not a good way to walk into church. I had frankly heard enough so I exited the car, to allow him a moment to speak with them without my emotions spilling all over. I walked inside, found a table in the foyer to chill at and opened my Bible. What did I find emmediatly... a small devotion on blended families and the difficulties of that. REALLY? Yeah that is something I already know this morning God, but thanks anyway. But the truth is I really needed to figure out what I was so upset over. Kids will be kids and walking into something new and different is not an easy thing. It is out of our comfort zone. It is understandable that they would not want to go. I get that. Then what exactly is my problem? Well I think it was the basically the idea that it was somehow an option. It wasn't presented as such, but it went from NO I WILL NOT GO TO CLASS to I WONT GO PERIOD!! It was a lesson for all of us. I needed to get to the heart of the problem for me. It was that I was asking a small favor so that I could do something that I wanted to do, and when presented with such opposition I was disappointed and that lead to anger. At this point I wanted to leave, any kind of emotion sends me into to tears and I really just wanted to go home and crawl into bed and put the covers over my head and lick my wounds. Again I ask myself "why are you taking this so personally?" And then it hits me. Satan would like nothing more than to steal my JOY!! Well I am not going to let that happen. So we will stay for service. This is not how I planned my day but all things happen for a reason. We did miss class, but one of our children went to class. I had a heart to heart with the other child. It went something like this...
~ " Sometimes we do things for others because we love them. Sometimes we are asked to do difficult things but we do them because we love the one asking us to do it. Sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zone to experience a new adventure. Example: Moving to eastern Idaho to be with your Dad and make a family with you, leaving all that I know and love behind, because I love you and wanted to be here with you. I would never ask anything of you that I was not willing to do myself. I too was going to start a new class and step out of my comfort zone as well. So we would have all been in the same boat just different rooms :). "~
Oh the joy of parenthood... Well as it turns out the child who went to class had a great time and we went to service and blessings flowed. I bawled most of the service. We read Psalm 46... "God is our refuge and strenth, and ever-present help in trouble... " Our family experienced a shaking, a giving of way, an uproar of emotions, a surging of the tide... yet God calmed us and answered my prayer from earlier in the car... "give me the words to say Lord and soften my childrens hearts" The words came and the softening crept in like a warm spring day. My daughter held my hand during worship service and sang her little heart out to Jesus, she also took sermon notes, melted my heart. After lunch she said she was sorry that we didn't get to go to our class and asked if we would be able to go next week. So all good things come from the Lord in His time. It was a growing time for us as a family. Trouble may come our way, mountains may crumble into the sea, the earth may give way, the seas will roar, nations will war against one another... but God is our Fortress, therefore we shall not fear.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
This is a lesson for me, say what you mean and mean what you say for tomorrow may never come. We have things that we need to tell people but we don't. We think we always have tomorrow, but tomorrow is today I don't have any time left. He is gone, the Father took him home and I am left with what was unsaid. " We had some good times, we had some bad, my love for quirkiness comes from you, I remember the lessons you taught me, I remember the stories, thanks for puting up with my teenage antics, I love you and I forgive you..." But you see I cant tell you these things because I waited too long and I am too late. My hope is now in your quiet stillness and restful sleep you know all these things.