Tuesday, January 10, 2012


Our new year is already faced with uncertainty... We have known for a few months now that Chris's job with the USFS was on the chopping block we just haven't known the specifics as to when and wether or not he would have a job somewhere else. It has been a restless waiting game. In the meantime he has been working tirelessly on his business plan and making contacts to help get funding with lots of success but still needing a few minor details to fall into to place. Which could happen tomorrow or six months from now. Looks as though we will be facing a move and jobloss fairly soon. I won't lie somedays are harder than others. It seems as though when I am worried and feel the preasure of the unknown Chris is positive and unbeat and vice versa so we are a good team. We also know that God is going to provide no matter what. But as I look around our little home, the home I have grown to love, where Chris, the kids and I have become a family, everything we do is becoming our last... our last Christmas and New Years, our last winter, our final weeks will be filled with those. And that can be exciting on some level that this adventure we are on is always changing. But sometimes it also feels as though the carpet could be pulled out from underneath me at any moment in time. We have some tough decision to make in the coming months. It is possible that Chris will be offered a buyout at work but this means he will not be able to work for the government for the next five years in any capacity including fire assignments, it is a nice chunk of change that would allow us to live on it for a while until the business gets going but nothing to fall back on if it doesn't, or he can take the settlement which is considerably less money but he would still be able to work for another agency and continue his fire assignments should we need the extra income this summer. It is hard to know what to do. I trust that my husband will do what he thinks is best for our family and I know he is seeking God's direction. I am praying for a clear path to be laid ahead for doors to be opened or closed according to God's will for our lives. And I ask of you as my friends and family reading this that you too will come along side and pray with us as well. In times like these I am always drawn back to Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper and not to harm, to give you hope and a future." and Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight." So when the doubts creep in and I give way to the unknown future I have to go back to what I believe to be true and that is God promised to never leave me or forsake me especially in troubled times. He never promised it would be easy but that He would be there when it got tough. Lord I thank-you for loving me enough to send me through trying times to show me what blessings are to beheld through the tears and heartache. Lord I seek your will to be done though us and that our will doesn't try to overcome yours. Father I know that you have gone before us a made a way help us to see open our eyes and hearts. I ask for forgivness when we have faltered and gave in to worry and doubt. I ask for peace beyond our understanding when the final decision is made. Lord I thank you that you are carrying us through and although we dont always understand why but I pray that you will be glorified in all that we say and do and that your light will shine through us and give others around us who are struggling a glimpse of your greatness. Father your love for us is beyond description and many times I know I have taken that for granted, please forgive me for that. Help me to know you are here Lord. I pray these things in Jesus name, Amen

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